Am I the boss that I wanted to be?

The answer was NO for days. No, I still don't know the correct answer but I'm working on that:

"What's required to become a great boss. It's a difficult journey that requires years, not weeks or months, of learning and steady personal growth. It's difficult because most of your learning will come from your own experience, and so it will at times be painful.

What effective bosses actually do. You cannot learn if you don't know where you need to go. You need benchmarks to measure yourself against".